Monday, October 24, 2011

“We’re a Culture, Not a Costume”

A great PSA campaign by an Ohio University student group called Students Teaching Against Racism (STARS).



Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Whew, this week really put me through the wringer.  I got home last night completely drained.  I’ve been David L. Eng’s Feeling of Kinship this week for class, where he uses psychoanalysis and the Freudian Oedipal complex to commentate on First Person Plural and psychological case studies on Korean adoptees in therapy.  Oh, now I remember what it feels like to be an object without agency.  Honestly, the case study was difficult for me to read.  That was me four years ago.  But in worse shape.  If I wasn’t sawing on my wrists, I was locked up in the psych ward tranqued out on Xanax or strapped to a stretcher for electroshock therapy.  Not a point in my life I particularly care to revisit.
I really feel like this month’s year-marker since I’ve been “home” to Korea has taken its toll.  I miss being with Omma an Gayoung and family, but I also miss being with other adoptees.  I miss the unspoken understanding that we all have our issues, but we’re still okay.  We can be damaged goods without having to pull out Freudian psychobabble.  I miss my third space.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

How do you measure a year?

It’s been a year since I was last in Korea, a year since I stepped into Holt Korea’s office and into Omma’s arms.  A lot has happened since then.  My family has grown exponentially.  Yet there’s something still so raw about it.  The video of Omma’s and my first moments together has over 3,700 views, and I still get messages from people who have been moved to tears by it.  But I have something to admit:  since uploading the video, I haven’t been able to watch it.  Navigating around YouTube or my blog, I’ll occasionally stumble upon it, and I have to hit pause to stop it from autoplaying.  It’s still too visceral, too close, too surreal that I haven’t been able to fully process everything yet.  Who knows if I ever will.

Despite that, I am so grateful for the gift I have been granted, the opportunity to meet Omma, to be re-enveloped into the family fold.  I am blessed with a sister who is one of the bravest, strongest, most compassionate people I have ever encountered.  I am still awed by the fact that far more family members knew of me and have been waiting for me to return than those from whom I was hidden.

For the first time in several years, I have not made the pilgrimage home this year.  And I can feel it in my bones, a yearning, like a kind of gravity, pulling, pulling.  I need to return…

Friday, October 7, 2011


It seems that the formatting of the template I had been using is buggy, so I’ve switched to a different template for the time being.  I apologize for the layout glitches.

Kira Donnell shared an Instagram photo with you

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Olivia and the crab.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Wedding Photos!

A small sample of the 2137 photos our photographers took that highlight the evening:

Picasa Wedding Album