Sunday, October 17, 2010

엄마 편지 1

November 25, 2009

Park Kyung Joo!

My heart leaps up when I think of your name and my imagination goes wild. Kyung Joo is the name that I have been wanting to call. How much I have missed it!

I do not know how to begin and how to ask for your forgiveness. During this month, I felt like I was dreaming. My past revisited me and so many images went through my mind like a panoramic movie. I felt so overwhelmed.

When I realized that you were real and this was really happening, I wanted to rush to you and meet you but my situation did not allow me to do so. I resent myself for that. I am sorry.

How can I describe my feelings to you? I am a worthless and sinful woman but you looked for me. It breaks my heart. No words can express my feelings.

All through my life, I have missed you so much. I have lived my life with the hope to meet you. People say if you desire something so strongly, it will come to you. Now I know that. Hearing from you is a miracle to me.

Miss Ma at Holt thinks and speaks highly of you. She stated that you were polite and sweet and you have grown up so well.

I was overjoyed and relieved to hear that from her. I am so proud of you.

I would like to express my deepest gratitude toward your adoptive parents. Since the day we were separated, I have prayed to the Lord that He would bless you and you would shine in this world like the light and be as necessary as the salt. God listens.

Praying for you was all that I could do for you…..

Now, I know that you and I live under the same sky. God will lead us to the right way. I have no doubt that He will help us meet each other.

From time to time, if it is OK with you, I would like to tell you about my life through Miss Ma at Holt. She helped us find each other. I am deeply grateful to her.

I am sending you some photos. I went through my photo album but could not find any decent ones. The old picture was taken when I was your age. I hope you are not too disappointed with me.

I will continue to pray for you. I do wish that you will be happy and healthy.

Blessings,

Your birth mother

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